Insomia

Toss and turn in bed but still cannot sleep...hmm...been a long while since i really have a good sleep. Wonder what is wrong with me... :(

Lost my hp again...yes...its AGAIN. Everything just don't seem to be going well for me! Is it the luck thingy or is it just me??

Anyway, i had been thinking about the issue on making wrong decisions. I believed all humans will do something or made wrong decisions at certain point of their life. It's normal isn't it? The most important part isn't here, it's whether your love ones are willing to accept the faults,forgive and forget and still move on.

I learnt it the hard way, and the answer is NO. Even though the other party did express that he/she are willing to forgive and forget and continue loving you, there will always be a thorn in their heart. And this thorn will constantly be pricking them making them remembering all the unhappiness that the 'sinner' had brought to them. But have they ever spare a thought for the 'sinner'? He/she has to carry this guilt towards the other party and continued their life. Maybe this 'sinner' is valready trying very hard to ease the pain of the other party by giving in even more than before, or loving the other party even more, but in return is just to get reminders of how this 'sinner' had done wrong in the eyes of the other party....The worwst is when everything is just not as complicated as what the 'victim' had made it to be....

If its meant to be,its meant to be

A lot things had happened these few weeks. I quit my job. Yes, my mum won....I give up, had enough of her combos...got another job, starting next monday. This time round, it comes with a basic salary, with cpf contributions...yep, I'm free from her naggings for the time being.

Having a tough time with my relationship too. It just seems like I could never have a normal, lasting relationship...hah...Duno if I'm still in it or not....Of coz I felt the pain but I felt more of an emptiness...oso duno how to describe the feelings that I had...just weird...

Maybe this is really a bad month for me...

Golden Lesson

1. Change is constant and inevitable. Everyone has a certain threshold of embracing change and it can be positive or negative, depending on how we look at change. Opportunity today comes from our ability to embrace and adapt to changes. Stay static, and we’ll be left in the dust. Change can be a very good opportunity for growth.
2. While the thermostats set the temperature of the room, thermometers rise and fall according to that temperature that is set. One of the key leadership challenge is that leaders set the temperature with the people they’re working with. If there are frustrations or conflicts at work, manage the atmosphere before it begins to manage you. Be a thermostat, not a thermometer.
3. Courage is resistance to fear. Since true courage is action in the face of fear, confidence can be developed and strengthened by try something new that takes us out of our comfort zone and expands our sense of possibility
4. Knowledge can be acquired while wisdom is the application of knowledge. Sometimes we are impressed by people who serve like a walking information repository. But it’s always the wise people who absorb those knowledge and apply them at the right place and right time. If wisdom is the ability of applying and taking advantage of knowledge, knowledge in itself will be just merely a tool of wisdom. -- Just some notes to pnder on...

When a person is down...

There are times when a person is down. I may potray a very strong front in front others, but there are times like now that I also cannot take the lonliness and felt really helpless too...

Pictures are served to be good memories, but to me, it just further put more pain onto my heart. Days seem to pass very very slowly. What seemed like a relatively short time seems like eternity to me.

Friends may be around, but what I need is still baby...I'm missing him so so much that it hurts... But when the sun is up, I'll have to hide this weak side of me and continue my battle with yet another day....

I'm not superwoman, I cry too...

Waiting is a tortourous process

IT's already the second month of year 2008, and its also the 6th day without baby by my side. Everyday I had beed counting down, counting down to the day when I'll be able to jump onto my baby again....I really tried very hard not to be affected by this, not to let my emotions come over the reality, but it's really tough at times.

Initially, I thought it will be easy if I just concentrate on my work. But this 6 days, my production is so so low.... I can't seem to be bable to find back the enthusiasm in work. Everyday I just return with average 2 subs. It's really bad, cuz it affected my income also. I really need to buck up.

Maybe the reason why I'm so affected is not only I'm missing baby, but also I'm scared. I'm scared that this short term separation will weaken our relationship and will affect us...I do agree with friends for saying that this separation may be a test to our relationship and may even make it stronger, but I still can't help but to worry. Maybe it's because I love baby too much that I really don't want to lose him....

I pray hard everyday that baby will return soon so that all these worrying will be stop and things will be like last time for us...Really really praying very very hard....

Dream Come True

Yipee!!!I finally got my fav doggie!!!Introducing KIDDO!!Hmm...but photos not up yet, well soon it will be up! He's really a special dog, somehow it seems like we share a special bond between us.

Went for Julia's weddin just now, well, it was boring as usual. And everything when I attended such wedding, it makes me think when it will be my turn...I'm not eager to get married la, just that the assurance is no there. I know this kinda thing cannot rush, but...sigh...Maybe the best I can do is to concentrate on my career now...

Welcome 2008!

Its already year 2008...some people think it is a great time to recount what had happened in the previous year. For me, I don't think I want to do that...BUT, I would like to list my new year resolutions!

1. Be a project manager.
2. Get my weight back to 48kg...(tough...lol)
3. Buy my dream gucci bag.
4. Go for a holiday with hubby!
5. Get my citibank card.
6. Buy hubby a gucci wallet.
7. Save at least 1k per month.
8. Adopt a puppy!
9. Get my driving licence.
10. Buy a laptop.

Well, these are the things that i really want...so i will really work hard to get all fulfilled!!