Slacker

Hmm...admit that im a slacker yup...but its only for a while isnt it? Well, at least this is what i'm telling myself.. I did send out resumes to jobstreet, and there were a few replies. But i'm not really interested in those...who in hell wana be a shoe designer??and its for an unknown company....Maybe there are a few people out there who will be interestd, but all i can say is, that is definitely not for me!!

So, meanwhile,i shall just slack slack and slack....no matter what, it is something that i had been waiting for a long long time!!-lol-

Been pondering on the question that baby was asking me two days ago...he said:"How much do i love him?" of coz i replied what a person with brians will :"Very very much indeed!" Then he said he don't feel that i love him that much....dunno why but that sentence is really hurtful. But after putting down the phone with him, i kpt asking myself, how in the hell do you let a person konw that you really love him/her to that certain extent?? Issit by telling him/her that you love him everyday, or issit by showering him/her eith surprises or gifts now and then? To me, honestly, i do not love baby that much in the first place, its not because im mean, its just a shield that i had put up to protect myself against anymore hurts that may come from him...But as time goes by, i do realized that im lovin him more and more each day...and i really wana to let him feel that...

However till now, i really duno how to tell mum about him...im afraid that she'll start to ask what is he doing right now, intending to study anot...is not that mum will look down on him, hopefully not...but, i do not want her to feel that or rather think that im making the wrong choice again..

Because i think that i did not make any wrong choice this time round. Im so determined coz hes the only guy that im willing to give up my dream of studying in Aussie...say im dumb or numb-skulled....i had already decided not to go aussie anymore...but i duno how to tell KJ that im not gg anymore...hmmz...

So right now, im really crossing my fingers real hard, praying that im right this time round....