Drink, Drank, Drunk...

Was actually contemplating if i should go down to the usual hangout on wed, well, as wat kaka said, in the end, i still go...wasnt realli in the party mood, met up wif gab, tok cock a bit wif together wif nizan then jo came le. Went up to MW to drink, hmm...oso duno wat drink wsa dat, sam concocted it, juz taste like aloe vera juice...haha!! So, in the end, went over to momo to find kenny and drink the power one!!haha!!realli power sia, was drinking and playing games wif jo, and before i knew it, i was high liao...but i still continued to drink and drink...till to the point i started crying in front of them...

It was the next day before i knew what i was tokking to them about. They told me, i kept crying, saying no one loves me, asking if im realli such a bad gf, why no one could love me for who i am...juz kept on crying sia...then sam was the one who sent me home...and unfortunately i erm..puke on his bed haha!!so in the end he had to wash the bedsheet, wash the floor and practically stay up the whole nite to look after me, cuz when i woke up, i saw him awake forcing himself to watch tv...oops...hes the onli person who realli took care of me the whole nite when im drunk..dis made me thoink of the other tym when i was drunk and he came to fetched me home..i noe i was drunk, i drank too much, so im already trying my best to balance on the bike, but in the end, he still quarrelled with me...there sure to be reason as to why a person out of the blue drank so much de...why cun he understand leh?

After they told me what i said on that wed, i realized how sad i had been the whole while...nizan tok to me about it, he said if a person had been thinknig too much about something,when the person started drinking, it will be very fast b4 he/she becum very emo lyk how i was on that wed...he knew my probs and did help me in it...but in the end, everything still being decided by me rite?

I dun wana be drunk coz of sadness again, i realli wana be happy i wan to have myself back, and not think of how and wat should i do to prevent making the other party angry, or how and what i should say or decide so that we can go out normally...im so so tired le, my life had already been so upside down, now my day become my night and my night become my day...im neglacting my sch stuffs more and more, now to the point of simply bo chap and i noe its bad, its very bad. I realli wana complete my studies smoothly, i dun wana drag it anymore. I wan myself now...