Stages

Each and everyone of us grew in different parts of our life. Each unhappiness met will be a new lesson learnt. When I looked back at my life, I realized that I had quite a lot of unhappiness...lol. But only now did I learn...yeah man, I'm S.L.O.W

Be it academic wise, family affairs or love affairs...I really only realized my mistakes now...I shouldn't have be so dumb and deny entry to SAJC and did not insist on going to nafa and went to nyp instead.

I should have learn to spend more time with my family members, get to know my relatives better, be closer to them.

I should have realized that true love is just a matter of patience, and I should have just continue to wait so as to prevent all the heartbreaks that I had encountered. I knew bei when I was 16 and got together with him briefly. And after that he seemed to disappear. Then we got in contact again when he's in trouble, and the 'briefly affair' started again, in the end?yup, you guessed it, it ended abruptly. After all these, I told myself, we are just not meant to be. So, after that, all my relationships I went in search for guys who love me more than I love them. Most of them didn't last long, some I can say is I'm sick of them, while there are one or two that I really fell in love with them but turns out that they did not love me as much as I thought they did.

Went one big round and in the end I got bei again. haha!! When I looked back, I find it quite funny...in the past, I really cried hard when he just left me without a reason, and it's not just for once!!So, bei, if you are reading this now, this message is for you:

"I had cried for you umpteen times, thinking over and over again why you would do that to me.
When we lost contact, I did tried to find you back, a few times I did, coz I remember your number. But when I finally forgot, I told myself to discard the disappointment and told myself this is really the end to it. However, fate brought us back together again by arranging for us to bump into each other in the most impossible condition. Fate also brought us together as a couple.
But to tell you the truth, I do not hold any high hopes initially because I wanted to protect myself from heartbreaks which I had got from you previously. However, through your actions, I felt that this time round you are serious and I'm also slowly putting back the old feelings that I had for you. At times I'll hold back, not wanting to put in too much because I still feel scared, thus you may felt the insecurities there. But I do hope you understand my situation and the reason of why I'm doing that...If to say insecurity, I felt more insecurity than you do. To be frank, you had wound my heart too many times, and its deep wounds. I'm not blaming you here, I just want to make you understand. I may flare up for nothing, but it's because I'm confused, I'm scared of coming out of the healing zone and I'm angry for that timidness in me. Thus, I hope you'll give me more time and not aggrevate things further. Wounds take time to heal, especially deep wounds. Nevertheless, I still love you, so don't ever think I don't...."